∗∗∗∗∗ You literally can’t do without one of these. Buy two, so that you won’t drop dead instantly if you lose one of them.
∗∗∗∗∗ The cats love it! They play all kinds of cute little tricks with it. Like just last week they conquered Moldova.
∗ I wish I could give it negative five stars. I spent good money on this, and my life is still the same bottomless pit of existential despair it always was.
∗∗∗∗∗ I bought 1,248 of these and used them to build a very serviceable garden shed.
∗∗∗∗∗ I think this must be a very good one because it was packaged in a box. I do not like it when I order one of these and it comes in a cheap plastic bag. This is good because it comes in a box.
∗∗∗ The polio vaccine saved countless millions of lives. The atomic bomb threatened us all with annihilation. This isn’t either that good or that bad, so, eh, three stars.
∗∗∗∗∗ Completely satisfied. Would buy again. Of course you must understand I enjoy these products ironically.