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Police file photo.
Police were summoned to the Faraday cage at the Duck Hollow Museum of Natural History early this morning when a museum security guard discovered that Michael Faraday had escaped. He is described as a man of middle height, a little shy of 229 years old, clean-shaven, with thick gray hair parted on the left, a black jacket and waistcoat, a prominent black cravat, and the strength of forty demons. Citizens who see Faraday are advised to report his location to the city police, then calmly pack a few belongings and drive to a random city no less than five hundred (500) miles away, where they should check into a hotel under an assumed name and await news of Faraday’s capture.
WOMAN SEEKING MAN with own sousaphone for long walks in the moonlight, candlelit dinners for two, romantic evenings by the fireside, and silly chats about nothing at all. Must have own sousaphone. I’m a young professional woman with a promising career, many interests, and an artistic nature. If you’re a man who’s looking for that special someone, why not give me a call? The importance of the sousaphone cannot be overemphasized. Reply No. AW-3298Q.