Posts filed under “General Knowledge”

WHAT WE LEARNED IN 2020.

The first thing we learned in 2020 was that we never want to be in 2020 again, and most commercial dealers in time machines have already installed safety rigs in their devices to make it impossible to land in 2020 by accident. But readers of this Magazine also learned a number of other useful things. It is traditional for such publications to dull their readers’ senses with a year-end roundup, and this celebrated Magazine is nothing if not traditional.

We started off the year in January with “The 7 Most Intriguing Clickbait Headlines You Can’t Actually Click On.” People are still trying to click on them.

February was regrettably full of haiku, with some advice on how to sneak form past the formless.

In March we gained a historical perspective on “early music.”

In April we discovered a strange anomaly in a photograph of Paul Whiteman and His Ambassador Orchestra. Naturally we reported our findings to the police.

May brought us a very topical Handy Guide to Demics. We strive to avoid topicality, but sometimes it seeps in.

In June we made an original contribution to literary scholarship with the discovery of a hitherto unknown portrait from life of the great classicist Charles Anthon.

In July we painted a zebra in its true colors.

In August we learned the meaning of the word “transgressive.” It turns out that the word “transgressive” perfectly describes every item in this Magazine.

September brought us a number of signs of the end times. We have since lived through the end times and discovered that they’re not all they’re cracked up to be.

In October, Sir Montague Blastoff met himself from an alternate universe, and himself from an alternate universe, and himself from an alternate universe, &c.

November taught us about Green Tea and Our Health, which was a welcome contribution at a time when good health information was sorely needed.

In December we learned how to upgrade the memory in a laptop computer, which would have made it much easier to enjoy the memory-intensive multimedia content in this celebrated Magazine if there had been any memory-intensive multimedia content in this celebrated Magazine.

THE NICEST THING…

The nicest thing a commenter has said about Dr. Boli so far today:

What a stuff of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable know-how regarding unpredicted feelings.

CEELBRITY THANKSGIVING MESSAGES.

We asked several well-known public figures to tell us what they were especially thankful for this year. These were their responses.

Miss Una Corda, the notoriously shy concert pianist, is grateful for social distancing and a pandemic that has closed public performance venues for the better part of a year. To maintain proper social distancing, she has made all her YouTube videos private.

Teenie Sparkle, the host of the popular children’s program Sparkle Park, is also grateful for the pandemic, which has kept her studio clear of sniveling brats since March.

Bozar the Clown is grateful for HDMI television cables, which are easily susceptible to a pair of wire-cutters carried in the pocket.

Rap-jazz fusion artist Felonious Thelonious is grateful for the Orrin G. Hatch–Bob Goodlatte Music Modernization Act, and promises a new edition of the recordings of the Original Dixieland Jazz Band with his own improvised lyrics for early 2022.

Poet and novelist Irving Vanderblock-Wheedle is grateful to all the readers who purchased his new free-verse anthology The Dictionary thinking it was something else.

Donald J. Trump is grateful for the presidential Thanksgiving tradition of pardoning a Thanksgiving turkey.

Miss Diana Smoulder, the ravishing heartthrob of the hurdy-gurdy, is grateful to the Socialist Workers Party for licensing her composition “The Endless Drone” as its inspirational anthem.

WINDOWS ERROR REPORTING.

From the Wikipedia article on Windows Error Reporting:

According to Der Spiegel, the Microsoft crash reporter has been exploited by NSA’s TAO unit to hack into the computers of Mexico’s Secretariat of Public Security. According to the same source, Microsoft crash reports are automatically harvested in NSA’s XKeyscore database, in order to facilitate such operations.

One can imagine the hotshot IT salesperson arriving at the public-security agency of a major developed nation and saying, “I can sell you a very secure software system that will keep your agency running smoothly and your data safe from outside attack.”

One can imagine the prospective client asking, “What operating system does it require?”

One can imagine the hotshot IT salesperson replying, “Windows.”

What one cannot imagine is why the hotshot IT salesperson then makes the sale, instead of being whisked off at once to whatever holding facility they use to torture and interrogate foreign spies too dangerous to be subjected to public trial. Have they no dungeons in Mexico? If not, Dr. Boli can put them in touch with a hotshot dungeon salesperson who can provide them with a complete package.

ASK DR. BOLI.

Dear Dr. Boli: What is the difference between Religion and Spirituality? —Sincerely, Francis, Pont. Max., &c., &c.

Dear Sir: The distinction, in currently accepted usage, is mostly a matter of practical application. Religion is the belief that there are higher immaterial powers in the universe, and that therefore we must conform our behavior to a certain standard. Spirituality is the belief that there are higher immaterial powers in the universe, and they can be manipulated for personal gain.

ENGLISH MAJORS…

From the author bio below a little technical article:

Daisy

Position: Columnist

She was graduated from the major in English. She has been the MiniTool editor since she was graduated from university. She specializes in writing articles about backing up data & systems, cloning disks, and syncing files, etc. She is also good at writing articles about computer knowledge and computer issues. In daily life, she likes running and going to the amusement park with friends to play some exciting items.