Posts filed under “Poetry”

A SEA SHANTY.

What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
What shall we do with the drunken sailor,
Early in the morning?

Put him into bed in the Admiral’s quarters,
Put him into bed in the Admiral’s quarters,
Put him into bed in the Admiral’s quarters,
Early in the morning.

Sell him to the French as a pastry froster,
Sell him to the French as a pastry froster,
Sell him to the French as a pastry froster,
Early in the morning.

Sit him up and make him write a sonnet,
Sit him up and make him write a sonnet,
Sit him up and make him write a sonnet,
Early in the morning.

Hang him from the line with the captain’s corset,
Hang him from the line with the captain’s corset,
Hang him from the line with the captain’s corset,
Early in the morning.

Use him as a planter for petunias,
Use him as a planter for petunias,
Use him as a planter for petunias,
Early in the morning.

Discipline him under Secnav Instruction 5300.28E,
Discipline him under Secnav Instruction 5300.28E,
Discipline him under Secnav Instruction 5300.28E,
Early in the morning.

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A POEM,

Contributed by Our Correspondent “dduwvmy,”
Who Unfortunately Be Not Which Famous Writer.

_

Run about in the lonesome bush
Solitary is a person revels
Record this disconsolate season
and always make people have the felling to grow to fall.

Sometimes face that big slice of defoliation
that is big slice of to fall thick and fast,
you will the facial expression cannoting help but
Be foolish to live.

Then lightly give a sigh,
the corner of mouth lightly ups a smile.
Many people of car but seem to only have your a person.

Because everyone’s look in the eyeses
all stare at in addition to window,
respectively keep in mind Chuai respectively of worry.

You have a dream, in a dream of you wear a white dress,
the barefoot is trampled very thick defoliation up,
greatly mark time of run forward.

You want to run to where?
You aren’t clear either.
Just feel and then always keep on running like this,
in the mind all of suppress all let out from the big big of breathe out.

You need noodles toward the place of ocean
and in quiet listen to that tide rise tide to fall,
seeing that sea gull is beautiful in the sky of row an a curve.

Just in river’s lake, person’s body not from F.

Your thinking of tomorrow is on Monday,
and then want to start a busy green life.

But this day think the weekend
that the night thinks unexpectedly
so the sparse inside is careless of in the past.

Is superficial of you always have happy smiling face,
moderate facial expression.

But who don’t know as well,
always have a profound solitude in the silent night oil
however rise at the your heart deep place,
even if flank asleep your most close person,
you still feel that
the in the mind is empty.

Is you to nearby of did the person have no feelings?
Not, you just have a desire, there is a life of dream.

You usually fantasize such an appearance,
quiet room, a bunch of and warm sunlight shines on
to come in from the window sill
and beat Noan-noan on the body of,
at hand put one cup steaming hot coffee,
you sit to slightly pound a keyboard before computer
and allow thoughts and feelings to flow to drip.

Unfortunately you be not which famous writer,
also the nobody can truely appreciate your literary grace.

Sometime again absolute being go toward:
“Probably wait one 2, 30, even after dying,
probably these works of mine will have more people to read
to the article.”

That several days,
you always see a be lame leg of old grandmother
walk with a cane to slowly and longly
get on the car to and then and very slowly get off,
but oddness of is her each time sit one station road.

The person on the car has some complaint:
“This appearance can also sit a bus.”

Connect the driver runs into her some in a great rageses.

Your in the mind is strange,
this station road,
there is around no house,
only an alone and helpless hilltop,
what does she come to this to do?

Until one day,
you ran into her in the website,
you stand at her wear headphones nearby
and selfishly listen to have song.

The light rain Xi Li Li frightens,
suddenly someone touched to touch your clothes,
you take off headphones a turn a face:
“It unexpectedly is her.”

Her facial expression has some to worriedly say:
“Miss, did you see xxx bus to come to have no for me?
Coming to tell me is a, my eyes see not pure.”

You say with smile:
“Be free, I also take this car.”

Prepare to put on the headphones again later on,
but hear her soliloquize over there:

“My house’s old headman gives dream
to make me come to see him every day
and lets me says with him.
Ah, I this leg isn’t good,
hereafter can not often come.”

You are suddenly some sad,
a kind of fellow sufferers understand each other feeling
arises spontaneously.

For the person of dying weep over in fact
and more should for leave of the person
feel commiseration.

Standing alone no man of this heart can solve,
she to the person of the dying the Xu Xu Dao Dao,
no one dislikes her any further bothersome.

But you, connect a persons
who can make you tell to all have no,
because you always feel that your own topic is a bit aery.

You have already accepted this society
also content with reality,
but always have repress don’t live of impulse,
let you have the viewpoint to grow elusion.

Imitate a Buddha
Be placed oneself to mysterious great universe in,
world only I only.

But you are on the whole an understand person,
dependably and hard work well own affair.

Probably wait until the year of toward sunset,
you can go together with the illustration
to own all works and make into a book
and and then lie on the rattan chair,
the leisureliness turns over and looking at.

Run about in the lonesome bush,
sign by a kind of carriage Ao of narcissistic in the crowd.

One day there will you will find out exit,
in the moment is a colorful decoration,
ten thousand purple thousand red.

Sale Discount Buy Canada Goose Canada Outlet Online.

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A NUMBER OF PURPLE COWS.

By guest contributor Gellett Burgess.

THE PURPLE COW’S Projected Feast:
Reflections on a Mythic Beast,
Who’s quite Remarkable, at Least.

I never saw a Purple Cow;
I never hope to See One;
But I can Tell you, Anyhow,
I’d rather See than Be One.
 

THE PURPIL COWE: Perilla Says she Wrote it.
The Last Four lines are Mine, and So I Quote it.

A Mayde there was, semely and meke enow,
She sate a-milken of a purpil Cowe:
Rosy hire Cheke as in the Month of Maye,
And sikerly her merry Songe was gay
As of the Larke vprift, washen in Dewe;
Like Shene of Sterres, sperkled hire Eyen two.
Now came ther by that Way a hendy Knight
The Mayde espien in morwening Light.
A faire Person he was—of Corage trewe
With lusty Berd and Chekes of rody Hewe:
Dere Ladye (quod he) far and wide I’ve straied
Vncouthe Aventure in straunge Contrie made
Fro Berwicke unto Ware. Pardé I vowe
Erewhiles I never faw a purpil Cowe!
Fayn wold I knowe how Catel thus can be?
Tel me I pray you, of yore Courtesie!
The Mayde hire Milken stent—Goode Sir she saide,
The Master’s Mandement on vs ylaid
Decrees that in these yclept gilden Houres
Hys Kyne shall ete of nought but Vylet Floures!

 

CONFESSION: and a Portrait Too,
Upon a Background that I Rue.

Ah, yes, I wrote the “Purple Cow”—
I’m Sorry, now, I wrote it;
But I can tell you Anyhow
I’ll Kill you if you Quote it!
 
Dr._Boli's_Anthology_Cover_for_KindleThis essay and hundreds of pages of other amusements may be found in Dr. Boli’s Anthology of American Humor, now available in splendid paperback or as a free PDF download. Look at the PDF, and if you think this book is exactly what you need to distribute to the poor children of Friesland, buy the paperback book.

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LOVEY-LOVES.

By Guest Contributor Ben King.

 

Oh, love! let us love with a love that loves,
    Loving on with a love forever;
For a love that loves not the love it should love—
    I wot such a love will sever.
But, when two loves love this lovable love,
    Love loves with a love that is best;
And this love-loving, lovable, love-lasting love
    Loves on in pure love’s loveliness.

Oh, chide not the love when its lovey-love loves
    With lovable, loving caresses;
For one feels that the lovingest love love can love,
    Love on in love’s own lovelinesses.
And love, when it does love, in secret should love—
    ’Tis there where love most is admired;
But the two lovey-loves that don’t care where they love
    Make the public most mightily tired.

 

Dr._Boli's_Anthology_Cover_for_KindleThis poem and hundreds of pages of other amusements may be found in Dr. Boli’s Anthology of American Humor, now available in splendid paperback or as a free PDF download. Look at the PDF, and if you think this book is exactly what your cousin Elspacious needs for Christmas, buy the paperback book.

 

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MEANINGS OF POPULAR NURSERY RHYMES.

Traditional nursery rhymes may appear at first glance to be mere pleasant nonsense, but they often conceal a sharply satirical reference to events and personalities long forgotten.

No. 1. “Baa, Baa, Black Sheep.”

Baa, baa, black sheep, have you any wool?
Yes, marry have I, three bags full.
One for my master, one for my dame,
And one for the little boy who lives down the lane.

The “black sheep” who claims to have wool for everyone represents leftist radicals who would distribute the nation’s goods (represented under the similitude of bags of wool) on a basis of strict equality to the three estates, ignoring considerations of merit and desert. We may, however, reassure ourselves that the sheep comes to an ill end, as recounted in another popular nursery rhyme:

Black sheep, black sheep,
    Cute as a button,
Black sheep, black sheep,
    Soon you’ll be mutton.

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MORE ON WORDPRESS AND POETRY.

Our suggestion that WordPress needed a poetry plugin provoked a number of helpful comments. “Sigivald,” for example, wrote:

I suggest the reform of simply banning poetry.

It’s much simpler, and therefore the preferable course.

“Captain DaFt” suggested a clever way of turning up genuinely useful information in the WordPress forums; and “fred” put quite a bit of work into a demonstration of CSS techniques, all of which the WordPress comment system promptly nullified, because WordPress does that.

All these suggestions are useful.

Banning poetry, for example, might cause us to lose two or three masterpieces, but it would spare us tens of millions of soul-withering lines from shallow people with deep feelings.

The WordPress forums are full of people asking how to format poetry. They get helpful responses: you can use CSS, in effect writing a poem-constructing program somewhat longer than the average poem it will be used to construct. You can use nonbreaking spaces, being aware that they will periodically disappear. You can use the “pre” tag.

The “pre” tag activates your default ugly monospaced font. (This is true, by the way, in ebook readers as well.) One would not want to use that for publishing poetry:

I see beneath the crystal bow,
   And Gaul and German, Russ and Turk,
   Each with his native handiwork
                      And busy tongue.

It is possible to redefine that behavior in the WordPress theme by specifying a proportional font, making the “pre” tag probably the best choice for a poet who expects to write a lot of poetry and is willing to deal with the small alterations in CSS for his chosen theme. Even then, though, indenting lines with a bunch of spaces is a sloppy and tedious task, made sloppier and tediouser, and in some more complex forms impossible, if the “pre” tag is redefined to specify a proportional font. [An update: A commenter below mentions custom stylings for the “pre” tag, but, having tried the experiment, Dr. Boli is delighted to report that WordPress, at least with the theme he tried, simply ignores those custom stylings. It is therefore necessary to revise the theme itself.]

What the poet wants is to be able to say, “I shall set the beginnings of all lines of this sort here.” One can do that with an early-twentieth-century mechanical typewriter by pushing the “tab set” button. It is very strange that one cannot do it at all with a sophisticated twenty-first-century content-management system.

At any rate, it is absurd to say that prose writers should just be able to go ahead and write, but poets need to teach themselves the intricacies of CSS. The average poet will not be as stubborn as Dr. Boli about making his own WordPress theme when he cannot find one that meets his needs. Nor should he be limited to one WordPress theme. There should be some way to make the mechanics of formatting simple and transparent, so that the poet can just write poetry. After all, it is always possible (however unlikely it may seem) that, having all the traditional forms of poetry easily available to them without any tedious labor or programming skills, a few poets may start to write good poetry.

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A PLEA TO WORDPRESS PLUGIN DEVELOPERS.

You can tell the Internet was invented after the death of poetry, because HTML, the engine that formats the World-Wide Web, has no way of dealing with even the most elementary poetic form—such as, for example, a ballad.

Here is a stanza from a ballad by Thackeray:

It is perfectly simple; there is not a simpler poetic form. But how would one achieve those simple and obvious indentations in HTML?

One might add spaces at the beginnings of lines. But it won’t work, because, like most of the Internet, one uses WordPress. And WordPress will look at a series of spaces at the beginning of a line and panic. “How did those get there?” it will say. “I’ll get rid of them at once, before anybody notices.”

You may recall that, two days ago, Dr. Boli published a little poem whose form was not especially complex, but nevertheless required indenting some of the lines. The only practical way to do that is by adding codes for nonbreaking spaces.

Here is how the poem looked while it was being set in WordPress type.

composing-a-poemThat, you will agree, is very cumbersome; but we have not come to the worst part. Here is the worst part: that article is uneditable. If one needs to change as much as a single comma, one will lose all the formatting, because before opening the post for editing, WordPress will have another panic attack. “Nonbreaking spaces!” it will wail in a quavering and slightly tinny voice. “Something terrible must have happened!” And the formatting is gone forever.

One can, of course, maintain a copy of the post in a text editor, as Dr. Boli has done. It is also possible to define CSS styles that can be applied to different lines and add them to the WordPress theme. But the point of using software like WordPress, instead of composing in straight HTML, is to be able to get on with the business of writing without having to think about HTML code. Just think how ugly the code would be if the form of the poem were only a little more complex:

This is a serious problem for the whole Internet. Although poetry has died as a category of commercial publishing, it is still practiced as a craft, in the same way that people make pictures out of macaroni without ever expecting to go into the macaroni-picture business on an industrial scale. By the most conservative estimate, there are approximately one gazillion poetry bloggers typing their witterings into computers right now. They find it impossible to write poems with any form at all; their development as artists runs into the stone wall that is WordPress.

What the world desperately needs is a poetry plugin for WordPress. A worldwide publishing empire does not run itself, and Dr. Boli does not have time to figure out the WordPress plugin system and write the thing on his own. But it should not be difficult for someone experienced in that sort of programming.

Here are the features we desperately need:

1. When we are writing poetry, single-spaced lines must be the default.

2. Lines that run over must receive a hanging indent automatically.

3. It must be possible to begin a line at any arbitrary distance from the left margin.

4. It must be possible to remember that arbitrary distance in some way so as to create a class of lines with the same indentation.

5. It would be desirable to have a small number of standard styles, so that, for example, one could choose a “Ballad” style and have every second line indented automatically.

The poets among Dr. Boli’s readers can probably think of a few other features that would be necessary or useful. And if there are any programmers out there looking for a project where the task is not too challenging but the gratitude earned from the literary world would be enormous, here is one you might consider.

 

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SONG OF AUTUMN.

Bring out the rakes and sweaters, love—
    It’s fall again! It’s fall again!
And curtsy to your betters, love:
    Jack Frost has come to call again.
The prince of painters, with his brush,
Is coming in an awful rush
To make artistic shades from green
That fall and cause each lawn machine
    To stall again—to stall again.
    It’s fall again! It’s fall again!

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