Posts filed under “Science & Nature”
Learn to read Braille. The ability to read in the dark will considerably diminish your lighting bill.
Instead of cooking your vegetables in a conventional oven, use cardboard, newspaper, and foil or reflective tape to create a parabolic reflector. Then place the vegetables in it and leave them outside for the groundhog to eat. Result: vegetables disposed of without use of conventional fuels.
Instead of using powered machinery to dig holes, split logs, hoist pianos, &c., have your children do it. What did you have children for, anyway?
Tie a chain to the rear bumper of your neighbor’s car and the front bumper of your own. Your neighbor ought to be doing his bit to reduce fossil-fuel consumption, after all, and here is a concrete way of encouraging him. He may not always go where you had been planning to go, but you can learn to like the places your neighbor frequents.
If you carry moonbeams home in a jar, they may be next to useless for domestic illumination, but the philosophers Johnny Burke and Jimmy Van Heusen have demonstrated conclusively that you will be better off than you are.
Always charge your electric car from random strangers’ porch outlets.
Turn down the thermostat and wear a hat. It is a well-known fact, verifiable by asking your mother, that human beings lose 90% of their heat through their heads. If, therefore, you wear a hat and nothing else, you will still be nine times warmer than if you were fully dressed without a hat.
Dr. Bill Gargling of the Young Earth Institute has published a new variant of young-earth creationism in the Institute’s journal, Creation Studies. According to Dr. Gargling, the universe was created by God last Tuesday with the appearance of age, including our own complete memories of previous existence. The Institute is offering a $10,000 reward to anyone who can prove Dr. Gargling’s theory wrong. Dr. Gargling, having received a number of applications for the reward already, informs prospective applicants that calling him a moron will not be accepted as conclusive proof.