BOZAR THE CLOWN will soon be returning from his sabbatical. He has been writing a monograph on the architectural works of Paul Philippe Cret, which will be adapted as a Saturday-morning children’s show on Dumont next fall.

The rumors that Eddie Murphy would star in a remake of Cocteau’s Le Sang d’un poète, previously dismissed as false, have now been confirmed. Advance advertisements are already appearing in trade journals with the promotional tag line “Talk to the Hand.”

Miss Una Corda, the notoriously shy concert pianist, will be touring the great concert halls of the Northeast this winter with the Edgewood Symphony Orchestra. The public will not be admitted to the performances.

Flash! What prominent local judge was seen tête-à-tête with a very attractive young lady in the back room of Sid’s in Woods Run? Your roving reporter will never tell, but he has several unpaid parking tickets that he presumes have now been rendered irrelevant.

Members of the Italian Sausage Society of Bloomfield were flabbergasted to learn that puckish pranksters in their own staff had slipped kielbasa into their spaghetti dinner. Mrs. de Facto is said to be laid up in bed recovering from the shock.

Miss Diana Smoulder, the ravishing heartthrob of the hurdy-gurdy, has pulled out of the monthly Lemming Aid concerts after a heated dispute with the promoters. Sources say the board of directors was unhappy with her recent public statements on the sensitive vole issue.

The Great Blando is said to have eaten all his pudding yesterday, at which his minders were moved to declare that he had been a very good boy.