Dr. Boli’s I.Q. is 462. Are you smarter than Dr. Boli?
DR. BOLI’S FIRST I.Q. test was overwhelmingly popular, a fact that Dr. Boli attributes to the unfortunate mercenary nature of the other I.Q. tests commonly available on the Web. A second is obviously long overdue. Try this simple and completely disinterested questionnaire to measure your own I.Q.
1. John has four members of city council in his pocket. Mary has three members, but one of them is the president of the council. Whose street will be repaved first?
a. Neither one has an advantage, because in a democratic government all people are equal under the law.
b. John’s street will be paved first, because he has numbers on his side.
c. Mary’s street will be paved first, because you don’t get to be president of city council without knowing where the bodies are buried.
d. The president of city council will have his street paved with Belgian block, lined with elegant gas lamps, and bordered by herringbone-pattern brick sidewalks, and neither John’s street nor Mary’s street will be repaved at all ever.
2. By how much would our trade deficit be reduced if Willoughby Wemberton St. John Percival Wooton Sandbag Rumm-Locke sold off three of his superfluous names?
a. Our trade deficit would not be reduced at all, because superfluous names are not an article of international commerce.
b. Our trade deficit would be reduced by 50%, because that’s a nice round number.
c. Nothing can reduce our trade deficit, and eventually we’ll all have to eat mud.
d. Our trade deficit would be replaced by a trade surplus, and the sun would shine and the birds would sing.
3. Mrs. Chitarra says Lyndon Johnson was our best president. What do you think about that?
a. Mrs. Chitarra is entitled to her opinion.
b. We cannot reach a conclusion without first agreeing on a definition of “best.”
c. We cannot reach a conclusion without first agreeing on a definition of “Lyndon Johnson.”
4. The Shiras Arms hotel has fourteen empty rooms, and there are fourteen homeless people camped out on the sidewalk in front. How many homeless people will have to occupy each empty room if the hotel is to fit all of them?
a. None, because it is a well-known fact that homeless people are homeless because they prefer living on the street.
b. None, because homeless people smell bad.
c. None, because giving charity to homeless people only encourages them.
d. None, because the manager told all the homeless people that the Forbes Hotel down the street had free beer.
5. Solve this traditional charade:
My first is a basket with only one handle;
My second, the wick of a bayberry candle;
My third is one leaf from an encyclopedia;
My fourth can infect your removable media.
What am I?
a. No answer can be given, because the charade is utter nonsense.
b. “Locomotive,” because I’ve always thought that “locomotive” would be a good answer to a charade.
c. A nickel dropped from the Benedum-Trees Building.
d. Arisaema triphyllum.
Each answer is assigned to a particular letter. Assign to these letters numerical values, as follows:
a = 9
b = 17
c = 31
d = 43
Now add up the numbers corresponding to your answers. This is your I.Q., and you are not smarter than Dr. Boli.