Dear Dr. Boli: Yesterday afternoon, at the dollar store down the street, I bought a wire-bound notebook to write my notes in. When I got it home, I noticed that on the cover, in large letters, it says “1 SUBJECT,” and in slightly smaller letters “1 Materia.” Who do they think they are telling me how many subjects I can write about in my own notebook? That’s what I want to know. —Sincerely, Matilda Fudlocker, Beechview.

Dear Madam: Since the administration of Theodore Roosevelt, the number of subjects allowed per notebook has been strictly regulated by the United States Bureau of Journals and Blank Books. These regulations are for the protection of all Americans, who could otherwise be subjected to unfettered and unstructured ramblings that might make their way into emails, newspaper opinion columns, or even a blog. Do not attempt to circumvent this important safeguard. If you need to address another subject, buy another notebook.