Dear Dr. Boli: So I have this neighbor who’s a little flaky, okay, and she’s been going on and on about the apocalypse happening on Friday. I don’t normally pay attention to her ravings, but I kind of feel like I have to cut her some slack because she told me a while ago that the Illuminati were going to force Twinkies off the market, and that actually happened. But is there any good reason why anyone would think that the apocalypse is about to happen? —Sincerely, A Man Who Has Had Just About Enough of His Flaky Neighbor.

Dear Sir: Dr. Boli will leave you with four simple words: “Gas Station Television Network.” From that phrase you may draw your own conclusions about the proximity of the apocalypse.


  1. Clay Potts says:

    Dear Dr. Boli,

    Please assure your reader, the loss of Twinkies, does not necessarily mean the loss of Ho Ho, this year, (unless your reader was naughty, that is)!



    PS: Now the Mayans, they were very naughty, weren’t they? They deserved coal instead of a calender that year! My little elves worked tirelessly up until the last possible moment to finish it, only to be foiled in the end by poor selection of font size! I told the little perfectionists, “don’t worry, they are children, they will never notice, besides they will have more fun playing with the box, relax in a thousand years your ONE mistake will be long forgotten….”

  2. John M says:

    Merciful heavens – there really IS a gas station television network. If the world really ends as predicted by the Mayans, those of us transitioned to Satan’s domain may not notice the relatively minor changes that would result. The pace of global warming might be accelerated … and there would, of course, be more sulfur content in the smog.

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