The Duck Hollow University Department of Applied Speculative Research recently distributed a long survey in order to answer the two related questions “How well informed are American citizens?” and “How willing are American citizens to waste their time filling out long surveys?” Among the more interesting and suggestive results:

To the question “Who is Barack Obama?” 19% of respondents answered “George W. Bush” and 27% answered “The Battle of Camifex Ferry.”

Asked to point out the Straits of Magellan on a map, more than 52% of respondents went over to the coffee machine instead.

37% of respondents identified Islam as “a spice used in Thai curry.”

More than 8% of respondents were unable to identify Kathleen Merrigan as the Deputy Secretary of Agriculture, even when presented with a photograph.

61% of respondents believed that global warming is caused by evolution.

Respondents were asked to name their U.S. representatives, but evidently they misunderstood the question, as their responses were unprintable.