AUXILIARY BISHOP RECOVERING FROM SEMICOLON SURGERY.

Pittsburgh (Special to the Dispatch).—Auxiliary Bishop Wendell ffigge-Barre of the West Central Northeastern North American Anglican Church (Semiliberal) is in stable condition after undergoing semicolon surgery at St. Bede’s Hospital in Esplen, according to a statement from the diocese.

“This intervention was necessary to cure Bishop ffigge-Barre’s tendency to witter on ad infinitum,” a spokesdeacon explained, reading a prepared statement.

Surgeons at St. Bede’s say that the bishop has already begun to talk in simple sentences, indicating that the procedure was a success.