Grief counselors were called to the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen after a three-year study by Institute researchers was rejected by the prestigious New England Journal of Medicine.

“This is the saddest day of my life,” said Meik Wiking, CEO of the Institute. “I just want to jump off a bridge.”

Counselors at the Grief Studies Foundation celebrated their contract with an all-night party featuring three cases of Moët & Chandon champagne. One counselor, who wished to remain anonymous, told a reporter that with this new contract she was “set for life.”