Enter your grapefruit in the Duck Hollow Museum of Art International Grapefruit Pageant, a new work of metaconceptual counterperformance art conceived by artist Rupert Slackstripe, who painted Cirencester beige. Winning grapefruit will be exhibited at major art museums throughout North America. Losers will be juiced. Contact Duck Hollow Museum of Art care of this magazine and provide head shots of the grapefruit facing camera and in profile.
On-hold music for all telephone service centers. We provide an endless loop of a seven-year-old practicing scales on a trumpet, thus encouraging callers to hang up quickly and never call back. You save big money in staffing and support costs. Blandville Elementary School, music department, ask for Mr. Tweed (after 3 p.m. only).