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WANTED: Bad People with Good Credit

If you’re a drug dealer, gang boss, investment banker, or other unsavory character who requires a flashy car to maintain your image, Bob’s Bentley and Firearms Emporium is looking for you. All this month we have special deals on fully equipped Bentley Flying Spur sedans with aftermarket rims for you if you can show us a high credit rating and a 1040 demonstrating that you can’t afford a Bentley, just so we know you’re illegit. Bob’s Bentley and Firearms Emporium is your one-stop go-to for the active villain lifestyle.

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Enter your grapefruit in the Duck Hollow Museum of Art International Grapefruit Pageant, a new work of metaconceptual counterperformance art conceived by artist Rupert Slackstripe, who painted Cirencester beige. Winning grapefruit will be exhibited at major art museums throughout North America. Losers will be juiced. Contact Duck Hollow Museum of Art care of this magazine and provide head shots of the grapefruit facing camera and in profile.

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Collectors & Hobbyists! Build wooden models of famous plastic models. Send for catalog today. Model Modeling Corp., Woodville.