THE END.

1960 Royal Heritage

Transcribed below. The typewriter is a 1960 Royal Heritage.

The End.

You ask us, “But then must there be an end?”
We answer, Yes: it’s useless to pretend.
All things must end. These verses that we penned
(Or typed), as everyone must apprehend,
May, with a little bit of luck, ascend
To mediocrity, but then descend
(No matter how we alter and amend)
Below the point where you would recommend
That we abandon ship. This downward trend
Effectively forbids us to extend
Our verse beyond its welcome. So we spend
A month in rhyming, then resume the blend
Of prose and verse and pictures we intend
To make our usual fare. Thus we suspend
The poetry while you are still our friend.

. 5 comments.

Comments

  1. KevinT says:
    February 28, 2025 at 8:56 am

    What’s with the blank keys on this machine (and the one on Feb. 26)? I assume the larger ones closest to the typist are Shift keys, but does the typist need to press/hold the smaller blank key to find out what function it performs? Could the function be assigned by the user, similar to the way that the keys on a computer keyboard can be reassigned at will?

    Reply
    • Dr. Boli says:
      February 28, 2025 at 9:06 am

      The smaller blank key is the shift lock, which not coincidentally is in the same position as “Caps Lock” on a computer keyboard. It moves a tab into position to hold down the shift key, more or less the way the hold-open latch works at a gas pump. Push it again, or push either shift key, and the tab is disengaged.

      A shift lock works a little differently from “Caps Lock.” It simply holds down the shift key, so all the shifted characters are activated, whereas “Caps Lock” turns on the capital letters but leaves the numbers and punctuation unshifted. People who grew up with typewriters often had trouble adapting to the more complex behavior of “Caps Lock.”

      Reply
  2. KevinT says:
    February 28, 2025 at 8:13 pm

    Now that you mention it, I do remember the Shift Lock key. Old age is getting in the way of my fond memories of high school typing class in the early ’70s.

    Reply
  3. david tisdale says:
    March 1, 2025 at 2:42 pm

    And here is my happy farewell to our annual celebration of the human powered typewronger.

    Henry James, in his elder days, loved to hear the clickety clack of his typewriter, but (apparently) only when it was being abused by some poor myrmidon unable to fulfill one of the moreP traditional women’s roles of wife, wench, governess or freezing matchgirl.

    Patricia Highsmith found a novel use for the critter when her protagonist whanged a home invader over the head with his machine. It can be noted that said head suffered considerably less damage than did the typewriter.

    And finally that great American artist, Samuel Clemens, celebrated the collapse of his typewriter empire with a trip around the world and the production of the world’s finest travel book.

    Can we not let the creature? an we not lay it down among the gold coins, the steam cars, and the penny-farthing bicycles along with all the other creations which might have seemed like good ideas back when we lit our fires by banging rocks together? Let us leave them for the future archaeologists to decide that, not having any discernable function, they must have some as yet undefined religious purpose.

    Destruction to all useless machines,

    D. Tisdale

    PS: As to the verse which accompanies each entry. I love poetry, this poesy must stop

    Reply
  4. Charles Louis de Secondcat, baron de La Brèede et de Montesmiaou says:
    March 2, 2025 at 1:34 am

    Bravo! Alas, all Typewritertides must come to an end. Let us know if Dr. Boli ever decides to take a break from his lucrative magazine empire to publish a book of poetry. I have reserved a spot next to Ogden Nash’s “Everyone but Me and Thee” in my personal library.

    That said, I think guest poet Mr. Joyce should be advised to stick to his day job. Some people are just not cut out for literary greatness.

    Favorite poem of the month: With Deepest Sympathy.

    Most Informative Poem: Principles of Rhetoric

    Best Poem to Secretly Stick to the Back of Items in Supermarkets: INGREDIENTS.

    Best Typewriter: A tough choice, but I select Underwood Rhythm Touch 1950

    Typewriter with the Most Unfashionable Keys: Smith-Corona Electra 120 from about 1969.

    Best Typewriter and Poem Pair: A STRATEGY FOR SURVIVAL ON VALENTINE’S DAY on the Olivetti Valentine.

    Reply

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