IN CONSTRUCTION NEWS.

A contract has been awarded for the new $350 billion headquarters for the Department of Governmental Efficiency. It will be built on the Potomac River, where the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts now stands, with docking facilities for the fleet of Efficiency Yachts that will take citizens who can demonstrate a net worth of $750 million or more on Efficiency Cruises, in which they will learn the secrets of making governmental efficiency work for them. A spokesperson for DOGE explained that the Kennedy Center is no longer needed to entertain citizens, since government itself has become a performing art. The name of the company to which the contract was awarded has not yet been announced, but the DOGE spokesperson assured reporters that it would be familiar.

Comments

  1. Charles Louis de Secondcat, baron de La Brèede et de Montesmiaou says:

    How wonderful to see the country’s ludicrously wealthy take such a keen interest in the public good.

    Why, I do not think we have seen such an extraordinary demonstration of munificence since the days of Emperor Elagabalus, who presented all of his guests with floral displays that were simply to die for.

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