DR. BOLI’S PRESS-CLIPPING BUREAU.

Study: Everything You Believe Is True. A new study by the Duck Hollow University Depart-ment of Clickbait confirms that everything you have always believed is true. The study confirms that video games do rot children’s brains, that getting your feet wet in the rain invariably causes catching your death of pneumonia, that people who don’t finish their broccoli die of cancer in their thirties, and that wearing white shoes after Labor Day usually leads to rhinoceros attack within hours. Results of the study also indicated that drivers who fail to signal when turning, thus causing you to miss an opportunity to enter traffic, are deliberately doing it to annoy you.