1. Please write the number from which the call or text originated on a 3×5 index card.
2. Add your name, address, Social Security number, and valid email address to the bottom of the card.
3. In the upper right-hand corner of the card, write your mother’s maiden name.
4. On the back of the card, write your credit-card information, including card number, expiration date, name exactly as it appears on the card, and CVV.
5. Fold the card in half lengthwise.
6. On each of the folded halves, fold down one corner toward the outside of the fold, so that the two folded corners are opposite each other.
7. Fold each folded half down, so that the outer section projects at a 90° angle from the middle of the folded card.
8. From an upstairs window, launch the paper airplane you have created in the direction of Seattle, Washington, USA.
9. Did you honestly think we were going to do something about spam calls or texts? Because, really, that’s just adorable.