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“I used to be like you—a do-it-yourself mad scientist, thinking I could play in the big leagues with my own home-brew world-domination devices. “But I got wise. I needed help, and I needed it from real experts, not some college professor I kidnapped just because I took a shine to his beautiful daughter. “That’s when I called Consolidated. They set me up with this little box that can vaporize any world capital with transoceanic ethereal waves—and it does the job the first time, every time. “How does it work? I have no idea! But the League of Nations coughed up my ransom. That’s what the boffins at Consolidated did for me. And they can do it for you, too. Take the advice of a mad genius who’s been in your shoes. Call Consolidated today.”

. 2 comments.

Comments

  1. tom says:
    September 27, 2025 at 6:25 am

    What kind of shoes was that, loafers?

    Reply
    • Martin The Mess says:
      September 27, 2025 at 10:33 am

      Well, the sort of people who want to Dominate The World have a little jingle to remember what sort of shoes to wear. It’s part of a larger alphabet of mnemonics for would-be world rulers. Sort of like an evil version of Dr. Boli’s allegorical alphabet.

      “N is for Nike. It’s a missile, not a shoe. Get yourself some Oxfords in Cordovan, not Blue.”

      Reply

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