Posts by Dr. Boli

LITTLE-KNOWN FACTS ABOUT THE EASTER BUNNY.

Easter Joys Be Thine

Easter was established as a moveable feast to accommodate the Easter Bunny’s arcane and whimsical vacation schedule.

For three years straight during the Depression, the Easter Bunny sold colored eggs from a tin cup in front of Frank & Seder’s department store.

Attempts by Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny to share data on naughty children have so far run aground on the rock of incompatible databases.

Though it was previously believed that the Easter Bunny’s given name was Bernard, recent research has established with near certainty that it is in fact Reginald.

To avoid recognition during the off season, the Easter Bunny frequently travels disguised as a fox squirrel.

When he reaches the end of his useful existence, the Easter Bunny is regenerated like the phoenix, except that the process is a bit messier.

FORTUNE COOKIES.

The next time you decide to bake fortune cookies, you may wish to include a few of these wise and inspiring sayings on the little slips of paper inside them.

Tomorrow will be filled with laughter and joy, which will help you brace for the day after tomorrow.

Scan QR code on reverse to see your fortune on our new nearly trojan-free site.

WARNING: Fortune in next cookie contains spoilers.

Fortune favors customers who buy Lucky Dog Brand fortune cookies, but those who buy from our competitors invariably fall into wells.

Folk wisdom will guide you well; folk science will probably kill you.

A period of healing is near. A period of serious injury is nearer.

When one door closes, another door opens, usually with a tiger behind it.

IF THE WORD “ART.”

Carnegie Art Galleries Medal of Honor

Medal of Honor designed in 1896 by Tiffany & Co. for the Carnegie International, from the catalogue of the 1899 International.


The Carnegie International opens on May 2, so you have one month to get ready. Traditionally the International is looked on in the art world as one of the top two or three exhibitions of contemporary art in the world; only the Venice Bienniale is more prestigious and more eagerly anticipated. The International is also, after the Bienniale, the second-oldest continuously running exhibition of contemporary art in the world: it began in 1896. Over the past 130 years, the greatest names in art have sent their works to the International, and the best of those works have been bought by the Carnegie to enrich its famous collection of modern art—giving life to Andrew Carnegie’s ambition to collect the Old Masters of tomorrow.

The 59th International is entitled If the word we.

The description on the Carnegie Museum of Art site is such a museum of artistic buzzwords in itself that we quote this paragraph (for the fair-usey purpose of criticism) in the confidence that our readers will learn more about contemporary art just by reading it than they would learn by actually attending the exhibition.

Titled If the word we, the 59th Carnegie International considers the first-person plural as an open and evolving proposition—one shaped by listening, translation, and transformation—bringing together artistic practices that engage shared experience, circulation, and worlds in transition. Drawing from a commissioned catalogue essay by writer Haytham el-Wardany, the exhibition approaches “we” not as a unified subject but as a complex and porous position, attentive to contradiction and change. Across a wide range of media, from painting, photography, and sculpture, to installation, video, performance, and theater, participating artists traverse cultural, political, intellectual, and spiritual geographies that extend beyond national boundaries. The projects emerge through everyday acts, materials, and environments, offering spatially expansive portraits of collective life in the present.

It seems to Dr. Boli that he will need at least a month to get ready for the 59th International. It will take him that long to brace himself for pronouns that are attentive positions.

But he will probably visit the International, if only because he has been a member of the Carnegie Museum for a long time, so the exhibition is already paid for, whereas the comedy theater on Liberty Avenue charges admission. And if any readers happen to be in Pittsburgh over the next few months (the International continues to the beginning of 2027), he recommends that they spend an hour at the International; it will teach them more than any other single experience could teach about the meaning of art in a post-art world.

After that, your admission is also good for the Carnegie Museum of Natural History, which is in the same enormous complex, so you can go see the world’s best collection of dinosaurs and tell them, “I know how you feel.”

IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS.

Pantocrator Pictures Corp. has signed classically trained Shake­spearean actor Theodore Naphtha, best known for his role as Irv in the 2006 comedy Herb and Irv Hit Them­selves on the Head with Hammers, to play Irv again in a new darker reboot of the Herb and Irv franchise. According to a studio spokesman, the new film will include flashbacks to Herb and Irv’s fraught and abusive relationship with Herb’s Uncle Bob, who forced them to work after school in his hardware store when they were teenagers. The role of Herb, originally played by Anthony Quagga, will be played this time around by Scarlett Johansson.

VICTORY FOR CIVILIZATION.

Victory Rooster

A while ago we were talking about right-justified text, and in particular about the clashing dogmas on the subject: Web designers on the whole think right-justified text is a mistake in any context, whereas designers of serious books and magazines think that failing to right-justify text is a mistake. We noted that WordPress, the software that has run this Magazine since it moved to the Web almost nineteen years ago, and that since that time has grown to power half the Internet, had removed the right-justification feature years ago, leaving designers to write their own CSS if they felt the need for a traditional text design. (This was one of the main reasons Dr. Boli had to learn a little about CSS and theme design in the first place.)

Yesterday we were reading about the new features of the upcoming version of WordPress, and buried two-thirds of the way down a very long page was this little paragraph:

Nearly all text blocks now support the standardized text-align block support system, including Paragraph, Button, Comment blocks, Heading, and Verse. Plus, text justify alignment is now available. See tracking issue to follow along on the progress (60763).

And, indeed, it seems that a pull request that has been open for two years has finally been closed with a successful merging of the code into the core of WordPress. It is now possible to justify text with a simple button, even if the theme (unlike the “Dr. Boli” theme that runs this Magazine) has not specified justified text.

Throughout history, civilization has been under constant assault from the forces of barbarism. But once in a while it helps to remember that, in spite of tremendous defeats, there have always been more victories for the forces of civilization, and the barbarians have never succeeded in completely extinguishing it. Today we are witnesses to a victory, and we can remind ourselves that defeats can be overcome and pernicious trends reversed if someone with enough determination and patience stands up for civilization.

If justified text is finally back, could small capitals be next? The “Dr. Boli” theme has made them as easy as possible under current circumstances, but they still have to be implemented by adding the codes <sc></sc> directly in the HTML. It seems to Dr. Boli that simple and intuitive small capitals, which are required for certain uses in formal publishing, are the next obvious step in making the World-Wide Web safe for serious writing. Is anyone ready with a pull request? For any coders who need encouragement, it may help to point out that the successful pull request for a right-justification option came from a first-time contributor to WordPress.