Leader (noun).—Anyone who keeps his or her finger in the dike long enough for the rest of us to forget that there is a North Sea. When the leader retires, the ensuing flood is the fault of the incoming administration.

★★★★★ I wish I could give it a million stars. I never used it, but I like making manufacturers of cheap ballpoint pens happy.

★☆☆☆☆ This pen writes absolute rubbish. I tried to write a Spenserian sonnet, and instead it came out with the Century III Chevrolet jingle.

★★★★★ This pen literally saved my life. I literally couldn’t live without it. My doctor plans to publish his technique in the New England Journal of Medicine, so I can’t say much right now, but you should definitely buy a dozen of these if your doctor says you need bypass surgery.

★☆☆☆☆ Yeah, I suppose it writes, but what does it do for the starving children of Eritrea? What, you’re going to write them a letter? Give me a break. This company has no social conscience at all. I will revise my review if the company stops making ballpoint pens and solves the world hunger problem.

★★★☆☆ It’s probably a good one, but I couldn’t figure out how to turn it on. I could probably figure this out if I were smarter. I’m not really the techie type. Maybe they could give it an AI interface.