Honesty (noun).—The unimpeachable virtue that allows one to assault one’s neighbors with the grossest and most direct insults, and yet react with shock when they express resentment. The same virtue, when found in others, is termed intolerable rudeness.

Sniveling (noun).—A young snive.

Greed (noun).—The unattractive vice that causes others to pursue money and possessions that might otherwise be one’s own.

My Life, by Irving Vanderblock-Wheedle. In a daring literary experiment, the distinguished poet and novelist brings us the first non-searing autobiography of modern times.

“A meticulous portrait from which the reader emerges, remarkably, not seared at all.”

—Booklust.

“‘Searing’ is certainly not the word for Mr. Vanderblock-Wheedle’s production. The word that most often came to mind was ‘mediocre.'”

—New York Book of Reviews.

“Of the 385 biographies and autobiographies we have reviewed in the past five years, this is the only one we have not described as ‘searing.’ That, if nothing else, renders My Life a literary landmark.”

—Publishers Treadmill.