H for the Heron, who stood great and blue
In a pond in a hammock surrounded by slough,
Saying, “Why should so glorious a creature as I
Stand in mud to the knees, when in fact I can fly?”
So she flew to Miami, and did very well
As a prop on the lawn of a tourist hotel.


I is for the Ibis, who
Was happy in his patch of slough:
No ornamental lawn-bird he—
The Ibis kept his dignity.


J is for the Jaguar, stalking through the silent jungle;
She’ll wait for hours in silence, and she’ll never, ever bungle:
When lunch comes by, she’ll pounce on it and tear and rip and shred it,
And other things that I’m afraid the censor had to edit.
Learn manners from these well-bred cats that in the jungle dwell:
When you eat, always try your best to chew your food up well.


K is for the Kinkajou:
He may be “honey bear” to you,
But Kinkajou’s considered right
In circles that are more polite.



From Dr. Boli’s Encyclopedia of Misinformation.

Acupuncture. Technically, acupuncture is nothing more than homeopathic surgery.