R for the noble Retriever,
Who always brings everything back—
A classical overachiever
Whose mind runs on only one track.
Let the object be never so worthless,
Let the distance be never so far,
The retriever, grave, solemn, and mirthless,
Brings it back to wherever you are.


S is for the Sphinx, which is a creature of mythology,
Though carved so large at Giza, it’s a feature of geology.
A perfectly good lion from its tail up to its head,
From head on up it turns into King Rameses instead
(Or any other pharaoh that you may prefer to choose:
The experts know that it’s a head, but can’t agree on whose).


T for the scrumptious Trilobite,
The undersea Paleozoic delight,
Extinct long ago—a tragic loss:
It would have been great with cocktail sauce.



From Dr. Boli’s Encyclopedia of Misinformation.

Cage, John. John Cage’s 4’33” has been often performed since, but the only known recording of the first performance was mistaken for a blank tape and reused to record a high-school production of Hello Dolly.

Spoon. The man who invented the slotted spoon was universally mocked and derided and died in penury.