TONIGHT AT EIGHT.

Dumont Network: Ham ’n’ Eggs (comedy). The wacky adventures of best buddies Hamlet and Horatio, one of whom just happens to be Prince of Denmark. Tonight: Hamlet thinks he’s seeing ghosts—and Horatio thinks he’s flipped his lid. But there’s a wacky surprise in store for both of them!

The Brimstone Channel: The Jesus Show, with the Reverend Bob-Bob Lee (religion). Tonight: Rev. Bob-Bob explains how you can defeat the satanic conspiracy of the Illuminati, the Vatican, the Masons, the United Nations, the Libertarians, the Odd Fellows, James Earl Jones, King Albert II of Belgium, and the Piggly Wiggly grocery chain with just one simple phone call and a major credit card.

Northern Broadcasting System: Software Squad (crime drama). The exciting world of computer maintenance is the focus of this tense procedural. Tonight: An old enemy reappears with a serious new hack that threatens to compromise the Squad’s print server. Meanwhile, Gianna finally gets up the courage to tell Derek she loves him—but she can’t get her email through his spam filter. (Season finale.)

Metromedia: Al ’n’ Me (comedy). The wacky adventures of best buddies Alexander and Hephaestion as they look for new worlds to conquer. Tonight: Al decides to build a new capital city for Egypt—but what to name it? Hephaestion comes up with a brilliantly wacky idea.

Golf Network: The Golf Show (golf). Tonight: How to liven up the fifteenth hole with a small explosive charge.

Baldwin Borough Community TV: Baldwin Borough Council Meeting (public affairs). Tonight: Reading of the minutes from last week’s meeting; motion to allocate $50 for “MISSING” signs with the burgess’s picture, to be placed on telephone poles around the borough; motion to wipe that smirk off the council president’s face.

Wolf Broadcasting Corporation: Fries with That (reality). The hot new reality show that takes ten new college graduates, puts them in dead-end jobs, and leaves them there forever. Tonight: Which will give way first—Ashley’s new high-fiber diet or the Metro Mart’s bathroom-break policy?

Home Movie Channel: La physique a ses lois (drama, in French with subtitles). Director Rene Limburger’s introspective fantasy about the thoughts that pass through a man’s mind as he plummets from a backyard deck nearly three feet onto the ferns below.

Science Central: Things That Go Boom (documentary). Popular series studies the effect of really big explosions on various objects.