Dear Dr. Boli: What are scones, and should I trust them? —Sincerely, A Suspicious Consumer.
Dear Sir or Madam: A scone is merely a kind of triangular muffin that has been left out to ripen in the sun for several days. Scones are entirely harmless, so you may set your mind at ease. Whether you trust them completely depends, of course, on what sort of performance you expect from them. Scones are moody and mercurial, and it is probably best not to employ them as night watchmen or babysitters or in other positions where a constant attention to duty is essential. On the other hand, scones are the most honest of all baked goods, so you need not worry about leaving them near money or valuables—unlike biscotti, against whose larcenous tendencies every precaution must be taken.
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