DR. BOLI’S ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MISINFORMATION

Supplement No. 3.

Bacteria. Scientists have determined that, because of the rampant overuse of “antibacterial” soaps and detergents, the world’s remaining population of bacteria is very, very angry.

Basketball. In the time of the Crusades, a game very similar to our modern basketball was played with catapults.

Buttery Flavor. The “buttery flavor” often advertised in packaged snack foods is an artificial flavoring agent created by adding salt to grease. The addition of more salt creates a flavoring agent known as “cheez.”

Euclid. When the geometer Euclid defined a point as “that which has no part” and received much applause, his rival Eohippus led forward an unemployed actor and declared, “Behold the ‘point’ of Euclid.”

Gasoline. The first drive-up gasoline filling station was built on Baum Boulevard in the East Liberty section of Pittsburgh. Until that time, early motorists had to refine their own crude oil.

Kangaroos. On the advice of chiropractic experts, the government of New South Wales is now recommending that kangaroos carry their young in backpacks instead of pouches.

Staples. The ancient Romans made frequent use of staples, but because of the prevalence of slave labor never felt the need to invent the stapler.

Umbrella. The umbrella never achieved real popularity until the general public overcame the ancient superstition that it was unlucky to open one out of doors.

Urban Development. One of the first regulations issued by the new Department of Housing and Urban Development specified that every city with a Standard Metropolitan Statistical Area over a million in population must have one suburb named Arlington.