Just press the Boli Button and the magic starts!
H. ALBERTUS BOLI is happy to announce the new Version 1.0 of Dr. Boli’s Celebrated Operating System, the Linux distribution for people with unlimited corporate expense accounts. DBCOS is designed to offer many of the same functions as the well-known free distributions of Linux, but at a greatly inflated price that will make it more attractive to ignorant executives. Here are just a few of the many new features since Version 0.997:
1. The new theme features a clean, attractive desktop with tasteful background art.
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2. The soon-to-be-famous Boli Button brings up a customized menu that even an imbecile like your supervisor can understand.
3. Multiple Web browsers are installed by default, because you can never have too much of the Web.
4. Most importantly, Dr. Boli’s Celebrated Magazine is accessible with one click on the toolbar of the default browser.
(Click to enlarge.)
Interested already? Then take a look through these Questions, which Dr. Boli has scientifically and mathematically determined will be Frequently Asked as soon as the release of this version becomes common knowledge:
What window manager does it use?
DBCOS uses IceWM.
IceWM? But isn’t that a bit…mid-Clintonian?
With the new theme designed for it by Dr. Boli’s graphic-arts department, Dr. Boli hopes it looks rather more mid-Victorian.
Why IceWM instead of something less primitive?
DBCOS is designed to run efficiently even on older hardware, such as Dr. Boli’s own computer, which was a gift from the late Mr. Charles Babbage.
When I try to mount a flash volume, PCmanFM tells me “Unable to mount device.” Do I need to open xterm and mount devices in bash?
Dr. Boli values his international correspondents as highly as he values those who speak English. You may be assured that a team of linguists is working on translating your question, and Dr. Boli will address it as soon as their work is completed.
How much does it cost?
Here’s the best part. With all its new features, the price of a desktop installation has increased to $1149. This increase should make DBCOS even more attractive to ignorant executives who equate expense with utility.
How can I purchase CDs?
At the present time, DBCOS is not available on CD.
Then how can I get it?
One of Dr. Boli’s own technicians will visit your site and personally install DBCOS on your computer. There will be a small installation charge in addition to the purchase price, and you will of course cover all expenses for travel and accommodations.