Dear Dr. Boli: Your magazine’s advertisement for the Continental Association of Breathing Therapists notes that one must be “legitimately breathing” in order to become a Certified Breathing Therapist. I, however, am a mouth breather. Does this put me at any disadvantage? —Warmly yours, Cletus.
Dear sir: Dr. Boli does not normally interfere in the business of his advertisers. He is, however, always glad to be of service to his readers, and so he forwarded your question to the Continental Association of Breathing Therapists. This is the response he received:
“We are gratified by your reader’s interest in our association. Please reassure him that, far from being a detriment, mouth-breathing is essential to the truly operatic sort of breathing our Association seeks to promote. A breath through the nose is limited and circumscribed; a breath through the mouth can be full and round, filling the lungs with a plenitude of health-giving oxygen carried on a bed of sweet nitrogen. If your reader has learned this essential skill, he should make an excellent Certified Breathing Therapist, and he should immediately be encouraged to make his check or money order payable to ‘CABT.’ Thank you very much.”