The Flying Pig.

Hickory dickory dare,
The pig flew into O’Hare.
The man in brown got off, but oh!
His luggage went to Mexico.

–

A Song of Aspiration.

I won’t be my father’s Jack;
I won’t be my father’s Jill.
I will be an oilman’s wife
And have a full tank when I will.

Oh! One more mile,
One more mile,
See if you can push it
One more mile.

–

A Most Philosophical Ditty.

I do not like thee, Thomas Hobbes.
When I read thee, my head just throbs.
And so I say, between my sobs,
I do not like thee, Thomas Hobbes.

–

The Remarkably Theatrical Fowl.

Higgledy piggledy, my red hen,
She laid an egg in New Haven again.
Tsk tsk tsk and tut tut tut,
They hated her show in Connecticut.

–

An Agribusiness Lullaby.

Hush-a-bye baby, on the tree top,
When did a tree ever grow such a crop?
Try rooting a cutting of it, by all means,
And send your attorney to patent the genes.

–

A Woeful Riddle.

As I was going to Sewickley,
I met a man who sure looked sickly.
He had six wives around the state,
Six mortgage payments that were late;
And with each wife he had six kids.
No wonder he was on the skids!
His children threw unseemly fits;
His Frigidaire was on the fritz;
One wife ran off with a rodeo clown;
His BMW broke down.

Wives, cars, payments, kids, and fridge,
How long till he jumps off a bridge?

–

Cat, Queen, and Tabloid.

“Pussy-cat, pussy-cat,
Where have you been?”
“I’ve been up to London
To look at the Queen.”
“Pussy-cat, pussy-cat,
What have you done?”
“I just took some pictures
To sell to the Sun.”