Dumont Network: Takedown Notice (crime drama). A fast-paced new drama focusing on the heroic self-appointed enforcers of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. Tonight: In the pilot episode, Dirk and Moira go after a gang of church mothers whose “entertainment” for their youth group consists of commercial DVDs not licensed for public exhibition.
The Brimstone Channel: The Jesus Show, with the Reverend Bob-Bob Lee (religion). Tonight: Under court order, the Rev. Bob-Bob explains exactly where your contribution money goes. Special guest: Miss Goldie “Boom-Boom” LaBomb.
Northern Broadcasting System: Stones of the City (crime drama). This latest entry in the vampire-building-inspector genre follows the adventures of Sam Ionescu, inspector for the city of Washington (Penna.). Tonight: New tenants complain that the walls of their 18th-century farmhouse are oozing blood. Has Sam found his dream house?
Metromedia: Al ’n’ Me (comedy). The wacky adventures of best buddies Alexander and Hephaestion as they look for new worlds to conquer. Tonight: Stuck in the two-bit burgh of Gordium, Al and Hephaestion really need an ox-cart to impress the chicks – but the only one available is all tied up with an impossible knot.
Golf Network: The Golf Show (golf). Tonight: Badminton.
Baldwin Borough Community TV: Baldwin Borough Council Meeting (public affairs). Tonight: The council president realizes for the first time that television cameras have been allowed into the borough building.
Wolf Broadcasting Corporation: Fries with That (reality). The hot new reality show that takes ten new college graduates, puts them in dead-end jobs, and leaves them there forever. Tonight: Anna has to choose between being promoted to morning-shift manager and running for lieutenant governor.
The Lawnmower Channel: St. Augustine Grass (yardwork). An examination of the special challenges St. Augustine grass poses to ordinary lawn mowers; one priest’s unsuccessful attempt to exorcise St. Augustine grass from his lawn.
Science Central: Science Now (documentary). Tonight: “The Case Against Gravitation.” Are anti-gravitationists simply uninformed cranks, or are they victims of a vast conspiracy to silence their alternative point of view? Narrator William de Vague presents compelling evidence that nothing in nature actually falls down.