Sir:

How long must Crafton Heights remain without a decent harpsichord shop? What has become of this so-called “Neighborhood Renaissance” our whippersnapper of a mayor keeps talking about if musicians are forced to leave their own neighborhoods and even cross the Monongahela to find a decent selection of Renaissance musical instruments? I am disgusted and shall be voting Whig next November.

Sincerely,
Orlando Gibbons
Crafton Heights

–

Sir:

I recently read in your publication that the Governor General of Canada had prorogued Parliament. As a loyal Canadian, though currently living abroad, I am deeply disappointed to discover that the appointed representative of my Queen is prorogue. I myself am vehemently antirogue. Has Her Majesty been informed of this? I realize that her family situation makes her unusually tolerant of rogues, but what tradition makes acceptable in the Royal Family is not healthy in the elected representatives of the people. I urge all Canadians to petition Her Majesty, in the politest and most loyal terms possible, to take a firm stand against rogues in government.

Sincerely,
John A. MacDonald
(no relation)
Greenfield

–

Sir:

The law requires us to inform you that this is an attempt to collect a debt. Our records show that you never paid for your subscription to Lemington Living Magazine, in spite of the fine print that clearly indicated your free issue was conditional upon a three-year subscription at the regular discount rate of $514.98. It is very important that you write us back at this address within three days to prevent further action.

Sincerely,
Wilhelmina Spigot,
Lincoln Collection Services,
Lincoln-Lemington

–

Sir:
I recently came across a pile of old newspapers in the basement and wish to register my strong objection to your endorsement of John F. Kennedy. In my opinion Richard Nixon is our only hope, as only Nixon has the experience and determination to face down the Soviets if they should provoke a crisis.

Sincerely,
Amelie Prunewhistle,
California-Kirkbride

–

Sir:

In my opinion, far too much space on your editorial page is taken up with letters to the editor on utterly trivial subjects. Most of these correspondents are mere cranks with absurd ideas that will not stand a moment’s examination. That same space could be much better used for an expanded astrology column.

Sincerely,
Parker Vacumatic,
Spring Garden