Dear Dr. Boli: I am desperately eager to be the host of a celebration in my town of Dr. Boli’s 2nd Anniversary on the World Wide Web, but I am sadly lacking in additional cravats and spats and fear my intended guests will be unable to meet my dress requirements. Is there any help for me?
very best regards,
Dictated But Not Read.
P.S. I have a surplus of straw boaters, as they are not in fashion here, at this time.
Dear Sir or Madam: A very serviceable pair of spats may be made from an old whitewall tire, which you may easily obtain from one of your neighbors’ automobiles, especially if the neighbors are not very observant. It is possible to cut a cravat out of a straw boater, but Dr. Boli does not recommend straw cravats, as they tend to be a bit itchy. Instead, he suggests curtains. Curtains come in many fabrics of many weights, so you are likely to find something suitable; and then all you need is a pair of scissors. Once again, your neighbors can be a useful resource.
Dear Dr. Boli: I was hoping you, as an expert on “oft-neglected sports,” could recommend some titles regarding what I have always considered a close cousin to Musical Chairs: Duck-Duck-Goose. My son’s school will be holding tryouts for their team come next fall and I hope to have him thoroughly prepared.
With many profuse thanks,
Eustace C. Dither
Dear Sir: The best resource for the aspiring Duck-Duck-Goose player remains, as it has been for generations, Sir Humphrey Merganser’s Taxonomy of the Family Anatidae, which is recommended by the best coaches as an essential intellectual preparation for the sport. But it may be a little more technical than a schoolboy is ready to handle. An alternative more suitable for young people is One with the Goose: The Zen of Playground Games, by Miss Juniper Etoile Ocean-Breeze.