No. 1.—At the Entropist’s Shop.


[In honor of the second anniversary of his Celebrated Magazine on the World-Wide Web, Dr. Boli is reprinting a number of his own favorite articles from the past two years.]

Good morning.
Good afternoon.
Good evening.

May I help you?

I should like to see your entropy.

Is your entropy fresh today?

Yes, our entropy is always fresh.
We have only frozen entropy today.
We are out of fresh entropy, but we have some in cans.
Our entropy has all fallen apart.

May I smell your entropy?

This entropy smells good.
This entropy smells stale.
My nose is clogged, and I cannot smell a thing.

What varieties of entropy have you?

We have good Dutch entropy,
entropy of Assam,
entropy of Provence,
and entropy of Anhui.
We have only one variety of entropy, because we do not like entropy very much.

In what quantities and at what prices do you sell your entropy?

We sell our entropy by the pound,
by the ounce,
by the kilogram.

Our prices are posted on the sign over the counter.
Our prices are marked on the bins.
Our prices are classified.
Our prices are negotiable.
We give away our entropy for free, because our business is falling apart.

I should like to purchase half a pound of entropy of Assam.

I shall need to see your identification.
I shall need to run a criminal background check.

Do you accept credit cards?
Do you accept gold ingots?

We accept all common forms of payment.
We can accept payment only in beaver pelts.

Would you like a bag for your entropy?

I would if it can be properly sealed.

Will the entropy leak and damage my automobile?

It will not leak, as this bag is properly sealed.
It probably will leak.
We are not responsible for entropic damage to automobiles.

Thank you for your prompt and courteous service.

Thank you, and please come again.
Thank you, and please do not return.