TONIGHT AT EIGHT. — Dr. Boli’s Celebrated Magazine.

Dumont Network: Midas Welby, D.O. (medical drama). Dr. Welby is arrested for battery and affray after six people at the same party ask him whether an osteopath is a real doctor.

The Brimstone Channel: The Jesus Show, with the Reverend Bob-Bob Lee (religion). Tonight: The Rev. Bob-Bob condemns the pagan excesses and lurid commercialism of Catholic parish festivals. Also: More stories of prayers answered through the Rev. Bob-Bob’s Miracle Prayer Mats, available for only $19.95.

Northern Broadcasting System: Stones of the City (crime drama). This latest entry in the vampire-building-inspector genre follows the adventures of Sam Ionescu, inspector for the city of Washington (Penna.). Tonight: When an article in the local weekly points him out as a suspected vampire, Sam finds himself mobbed by teenage girls wherever he goes.

Metromedia: Al ’n’ Me (comedy). The wacky adventures of best buddies Alexander and Hephaestion as they look for new worlds to conquer. Tonight: Hephaestion tries to sneak in a few conquests of his own on the side. But what will happen when Alexander finds out?

Golf Network: The Golf Show (golf). Lorena Ochoa and Tiger Woods perform composer Ruthven Mophandle Heyser’s Duet Sonata for Mashie and Niblick.

Baldwin Borough Community TV: Baldwin Borough Council Meeting (public affairs). Tonight: Council debates the question of the Aristotelian idea of the self versus the Cartesian.

Wolf Broadcasting Corporation: Fries with That (reality). The hot new reality show that takes ten new college graduates, puts them in dead-end jobs, and leaves them there forever. Tonight: In conversation with the other waiters, Connor is excited to discover that he can deduct wire-bound memorandum books as an unreimbursed business expense.

The Lawnmower Channel: The Violet Menace (yardwork). Homeowners tell horror stories of this ruthless invader; one botanist’s promising success with Agent Orange.

Science Central: Amazing Animals (documentary). Tonight: Startling new proof that, if unicorns did exist, they would be pink with rainbows on their flanks.

Comments

Caren says:

August 10, 2009 at 4:22 pm

It’s probably not wise to go giving the networks such ideas–the shows they come up with on their own are quite frightening enough. Last night they were advertising a show in which they walled off a neighborhood, turned off vital utilities, and waited to see what happened.

LeMoyne T. Bellamy-Fritz says:

August 11, 2009 at 8:59 am

Hey, that was MY neighborhood that was walled off. You mean that people are now going to FILM what goes on? Well, there goes the backyard Cow Bingo.

roac says:

August 12, 2009 at 9:46 am

Of all Dr. Boli’s continuing features. this is possibly the one I love most. I wonder whether Dr. Boli is aware that someone: thought that Alexander the Great would be a good subject for a TV series; succeeded in getting a pilot made (though not aired until years later); and cast WILLIAM SHATNER as Alexander.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0326725/

- Caren says:
  
  August 12, 2009 at 11:14 am
  
  I just had a sudden vision of Alexander the Great selling Priceline.
  
  - Greybeard says:
    
    August 13, 2009 at 12:28 pm
    
    Alexander’s sidekick was Adam West as Cleander. What a pair, Batman and Captain Kirk. They are probably both relieved that this tape hasn’t surfaced for a few decades. Another reminder to all aspiring actors to be careful what roles you accept on the way up the ladder to stardom.