CERTAIN LESS FAMILIAR RHYMES OF MOTHER GOOSE.

The Remarkable Mary and Her Bank.

Mary had a little bank;
She fleeced it white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
The feds were sure to go.

She hid the money overseas
(Which was against the rule),
Because she might have been a crook,
But Mary was no fool.

The Young Man Who Was Not a Gentleman.

Georgy Porgy, pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
Now he sits in the county jail,
Till he can come up with the bail.

The Two Arboreal Women.

Dear, dear, what can the matter be?
Two old women got up in an apple-tree.
One came down and the other couldn’t think of a proper rhyme for “apple-tree,” so for all I know she’s still up there.

A Nautical Vision.

I saw a ship a-sailing,
A-sailing on the sea,
And oh! It was all laden
With pretty things for me!

With pretty things for me, dear,
And not a one for you:
Because I’m a monopolist,
And that is what we do.

A Numerical Composition.

One, two,
A steel-toed shoe;
Three, four,
Kick down the door;
Five, six,
Beat them with sticks;
Seven, eight,
This ain’t Apartment 38?
Nine, ten,
Oh, well, try again.

Comments

  1. Robert St. Agamemnon-Fargy says:

    A potential solution to the rhyming problem of ‘The Two Arboreal Women’:

    Dear, dear, what can the matter be?
    Two old women got up in an apple-tree.
    One got down, but one stayed till Saturday,
    When she was accidentally shot by a hunter who mistook her for a squirrel.

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