THE MEMBERS OF Americans Against Tapioca Pudding demand to know why we were deliberately excluded from the Approved Citizens’ March Against All Bad Things this afternoon. It is our constitutional right not to like tapioca pudding. This is not some Islamofascist state where people are forced to eat tapioca pudding whether they like it or not. Yet we were told we were not welcome by some snooty pudding-loving Crocs-wearing loafer with a clipboard. Democracy is dead in Pittsburgh. This is why we had to break the windows of that hat store.


  1. NutellaonToast says:

    I don’t need a reason to break a perfectly good window. Look at it, mocking me with it’s amorphous solidness. Are you a liquid or a solid, window? What the hell!?

  2. The local chapter of Americans Against Miniature Dogs observes that its practice of assaulting pooches has a much better claim to being “protected speech” than AATP, whose window-vandalism is only tangentially related to their issue.

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