TONIGHT AT EIGHT.

Dumont Network: Midas Welby, D.O. (medical drama). Dr. Welby realizes that a young woman’s rare condition is actually a metaphor for his own deep-set psychological problems, so he goes out and gets drunk.

The Brimstone Channel: The Jesus Show, with the Reverend Bob-Bob Lee (religion). Tonight: It’s the Rev. Bob-Bob vs. the Rev. Jimmy Pellmell in a celebrity-preacher sermon throwdown!

Northern Broadcasting System: Quirkville, PA (comedy-drama). The quirky new comedy-drama about a quirky small town and the quirky people who live there. Tonight: “Angels in Quirkville.” A new resident may or may not be an actual angel, but Mayor Quentin Q. Quentin says that doesn’t excuse her from town zoning ordinances.

Metromedia: Al ’n’ Me (comedy). The wacky adventures of best buddies Alexander and Hephaestion as they look for new worlds to conquer. Tonight: Alexander gets thrown out of the palace after a fight with his wife. But how long can Al stand the wacky bachelor life at Hephaestion’s apartment?

Golf Network: The Golf Show (golf). Tonight: An archaeological expedition to the Church Pews bunker at Oakmont discovers balls that have been lost there since 1903.

Baldwin Borough Community TV: Baldwin Borough Council Meeting (public affairs). Tonight: Mrs. Buddle interrupts the meeting to complain about her neighbor’s rose bush again.

Wolf Broadcasting Corporation: Fries with That (reality). The hot new reality show that takes ten new college graduates, puts them in dead-end jobs, and leaves them there forever. Tonight: Derek decides on his own to use green highlighters instead of yellow ones and ends up on probation.

The Lawnmower Channel: The Galinsoga Show (yardwork). Should Galinsoga parviflora be considered “invasive” or merely “pesky”?

Science Central: Amazing Animals (documentary). Tonight: A ferret that walks through walls, as long as there are holes in them.