I take pen in hand to protest the bill currently before the city council, no. 4241984 if I recall correctly, which would ban the use of electric carving knives while operating a motor vehicle. No doubt the members of city council all come from the leisure classes, but many of us work for a living. The pressures of business occupy ever more of our precious time, leaving us ever fewer hours to devote to cultivating that family life which is the foundation of a prosperous republic. Yet the sacred institution of the family dinner is now under attack. Are we not social creatures? Are we not bound together by shared experiences and shared meals? If those bonds are loosed, will not society as a whole pay the price? The half-hour I spend commuting is the only time I have alone to carve the roast for my family. Is my family to starve because a few ill-educated drivers are not responsible enough to handle a carving knife while navigating the Boulevard of the Allies? Surely the answer lies in proper education for those who require it, rather than in depriving responsible carving-knife users of their constitutional rights. And it is no good telling me to use public transit, as the Port Authority was even more unreasonable about my using an electric carving knife on the East Busway. Let the members of city council seriously consider their votes, and reject this unwarranted intrusion on individual rights.
Wilhelm O’Donnell Stravinsky,