ANNOUNCEMENT.

THE NATIONAL WEATHER Service has issued a Winter Funk Warning for the counties of Allegheny, Beaver, Butler, Fayette, Greene, Lawrence, Washington, Westmoreland, and Yohogania. A Winter Funk Warning means that prolonged inactivity enforced by unusually high amounts of snowfall will cause blue funks, lugubriousness, depression, grumpiness, annoyance, irritability, petulance, sadness, even more lugubriousness, and mental dry rot. Residents are urged to keep themselves entertained with a good book and not do anything stupid.