FATUOUS BANDS OF pseudointellectual drivel will continue to move into the area from the southwest, interacting with the stationary high-pressure system still hovering over the local employment market to create a front of existential despair. Vapidity in the atmosphere may reach dangerous levels, and individuals prone to depression or outbursts of crotchetiness are advised to stay indoors and keep the television turned off. Winds of change may meet chilly conservatism, causing a 65% probability of tempests in local teapots. Increasing cloudiness is advecting across the intellectual landscape, reducing visibility of obvious principles to dangerous levels at times. It will probably rain, too.