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THE MOST COMMON problem facing tourists and pilgrims of all descriptions may soon be solved to the great satisfaction of all travelers, if the marvelous invention of Dr. Emil von Zeitgeist performs in a manner consistent with early trials.

Dr. von Zeitgeist, an archaeologist by profession, observed that visitors to ancient landmarks were almost invariably disappointed. Having seen illustrations of the sites in books and illustrated magazines, they found that the actual view of the place failed to meet the artistic standards set by those publications.

What could be the source or cause of this disappointment? The scientific training of Dr. von Zeitgeist suggested to him that the answer was to be sought by comparing the illustration to the thing illustrated. At once a significant difference presented itself: the monuments themselves exist in three dimensions, whereas the illustrations of them are rendered in two dimensions.

Having made this observation, Dr. von Zeitgeist at once set about constructing an optical device that would allow the tourist to view the object of his pilgrimage in two dimensions rather than three. The result of his labors is an instrument Dr. von Zeitgeist describes as 2-D Glasses, which enable the user to view any object as if it were a photograph in an illustrated magazine.

The principle of the invention is as simple as it is ingenious. The “glasses” consist of two lenses, of which one is transparent and the other opaque. By blocking the light to one eye, the 2-D Glasses convert the ordinary human stereoscopic vision to a more artistic two-dimensional image.

Dr. von Zeitgeist anticipates a brisk sale of his 2-D Glasses at every tourist landmark, and has already begun selling licenses to the better-known vendors of souvenirs and guidebooks. He is now at work on an improved version in which the transparent lens is treated with a yellowish dye, giving the object viewed the appearance of a sepia engraving.