DR. BOLI’S ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MISINFORMATION.

Horticultural and Agricultural Edition.

Cabbage. Cabbage, broccoli, kale, cauliflower, collards, Brussels sprouts, kohlrabi, and cole slaw are all the same plant, merely trained differently in its youth. The resulting variety of forms teaches us the value of education in personal development.

Spearmint. While crusading in the Holy Land, Richard the Lion-Hearted discovered that Spearmint, in spite of its name, makes a very poor spear indeed, and in his embarrassment was only with difficulty dissuaded from condemning the entire disloyal species to the gallows.

Spinach. It was long believed that spinach contained large amounts of iron, but this old wives’ tale was conclusively disproved by an almost childishly simple experiment with an electromagnet.

Tomato. Only its susceptibility to frost prevents a single tomato plant from eventually covering the North American continent.

Vanilla. Of all the common spices, Vanilla is the only one that is extracted from a corsage.

Watermelon. So-called “seedless” watermelons are deseeded in sweatshops throughout the Southeast, most notably in the area around Darien, Georgia. It is notorious that most of the melon deseeders are paid less than a dollar per seed.

Zucchini. In the wild, zucchini are ferociously carnivorous; but they pose no danger in the garden, as long as they are treated with suitable deference.