IN HONOR OF the forthcoming third anniversary of his Celebrated Magazine on the World-Wide Web, Dr. Boli is reprinting some of the most notable articles, stories, poems, and advertisements of the past three years.

The Flying Pig.

Hickory dickory dare,
The pig flew into O’Hare.
The man in brown got off, but oh!
His luggage went to Mexico.

A Song of Aspiration.

I won’t be my father’s Jack;
I won’t be my father’s Jill.
I will be an oilman’s wife
And have a full tank when I will.

Oh! One more mile,
One more mile,
See if you can push it
One more mile.

A Most Philosophical Ditty.

I do not like thee, Thomas Hobbes.
When I read thee, my head just throbs.
And so I say, between my sobs,
I do not like thee, Thomas Hobbes.

The Remarkably Theatrical Fowl.

Higgledy piggledy, my red hen,
She laid an egg in New Haven again.
Tsk tsk tsk and tut tut tut,
They hated her show in Connecticut.

An Agribusiness Lullaby.

Hush-a-bye baby, on the tree top,
When did a tree ever grow such a crop?
Try rooting a cutting of it, by all means,
And send your attorney to patent the genes.

A Woeful Riddle.

As I was going to Sewickley,
I met a man who sure looked sickly.
He had six wives around the state,
Six mortgage payments that were late;
And with each wife he had six kids.
No wonder he was on the skids!
His children threw unseemly fits;
His Frigidaire was on the fritz;
One wife ran off with a rodeo clown;
His BMW broke down.

Wives, cars, payments, kids, and fridge,
How long till he jumps off a bridge?

Cat, Queen, and Tabloid.

“Pussy-cat, pussy-cat,
Where have you been?”
“I’ve been up to London
To look at the Queen.”
“Pussy-cat, pussy-cat,
What have you done?”
“I just took some pictures
To sell to the Sun.”