NEWS IN BRIEF.

PROTEST RALLY CUT SHORT.

PITTSBURGH (Special to the Dispatch.)—A protest rally held in Oakland this morning by the North American Brotherhood of Clumsy People was cut short after only five minutes of its planned two hours.

The protest, billed as a RAGE, or Rage Against Gravity Event, was one of dozens of similar protests in cities across the nation.

“The Law of Gravity discriminates disproportionately against clumsy people,” declared Miss Ravina Hoop, pacing back and forth on the improvised stage in front of the Carnegie Museum of Natural History. “Clumsy people should have the right to be—”

At this point in her speech, Miss Hoop  tripped over her microphone wire and fell headfirst into the crowd. No major injuries were sustained, but the rescue squad, which always appears in force for every NABCP rally, recommended that the rest of the proceedings be postponed.