Dear Dr. Boli: I understand that the domestic dog has been reclassified as a subspecies of wolf (Canis lupus familiaris) by human biologists. But what do the dogs think about it? Has anyone bothered to ask them? —Sincerely, A Fanatical Animal-Rights Activist.

Dear Sir or Madam: Curiously enough, the dogs have been trying to convey the same message for centuries. “Wolf!” they would object every time we called them dogs. “Wolf! Wolf!” Yet we paid them no attention whatsoever. Here is yet another proof, if any were needed, that your “animal rights” movement is vitally necessary in contemporary culture, and Dr. Boli encourages you to fight the good fight with unflagging vigor.