Sir: As I sit here on my couch, the television news is droning on, since I lost track of the remote some months ago and have never been told which of the three buttons on my television set turns it off, and the news anchor has just mentioned something about “more violins in the Middle East.”

Why are we sending yet more violins to the Middle East? When I voted in 1988, which was the last time I left the house, I did not vote for President McKinley merely so that our government could continue flooding the Middle East with wasteful and unnecessary violins. What problems will violins solve that could not be solved just as effectively by soprano recorders, which are much more economical, especially when they are manufactured from cheap plastic? Soprano recorders are standard teaching instruments in elementary schools, and a ready supply is always to be had, available to be deployed in large numbers at a moment’s notice. Yet we persist in sending violins to the Middle East, where I have it on the authority of statistics I just made up that fewer than 25% of the inhabitants can play them! Is this a rational use of our money and manpower?

My wife, as I write, has just informed me that the news anchor spoke of violence, not violins, in the Middle East. Because I have a visceral mistrust of the Backspace key, I shall leave the former part of this letter unaltered; but I should like it to be known that of course I, like all patriotic Americans, approve of violence.


  1. RepubAnon says:

    Interesting how showing the various methods of ending human life are deemed honorable, while the means of starting human life are deemed disreputable.

    Children are often given toy guns and similar devices intended to let them practice ending the lives of other humans – imagine the uproar if they were given toys that encouraged them to practice creating new lives… very odd.

  2. Sir: You are obviously one of the many unfortunate souls suffering from Loss of Fearing (LOF). Left untreated, LOF will result ultimately in a complete inability to fear anything at all. I know; I was long a sufferer until I overcame my embarrassment and sought help. I pray that you will do the same before it is too late.

  1. […] RESPONSE TO the letter from an anonymous reader published yesterday, a reader calling himself RepubAnon […]

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