Dear Dr. Boli: The purpose of Church, it is clear, is to administer such grace to men as makes them commit all of the pious sins rather than any of the impious ones. Regrettably, I find no instructions in the Bible explaining how to make this remarkable transformation occur. Are all we churchmen thus doomed to failure? Are God, Life, and Truth all a big hoax now? —Cheers, Deacon Calvin Lewis Gumbo, Repent Or Parish, Springfield.

Dear Sir: The Bible is an enormous library of dozens of books written over the course of more than a thousand years. If you cannot find somewhere in it a verse to take out of context that will answer any question or support any proposition whatsoever, then you simply are not trying hard enough.