MISS WANDA PAYLE has successfully cornered the market on wind-up novelty pencil boxes, causing global prices of that commodity to rise an estimated 14%.

Police in Homestead have appealed to the public for help in identifying the gang of three masked men who broke into an empty storefront on Eighth Avenue late last night and set up a harpsichord shop.

The Burgerette Drive-Thru Inn of Sparse, Oklahoma, was struck by two tornadoes in the same afternoon. The first tornado knocked the structure off its foundation, but the second put it back.

A gang of sparrows rolled themselves in glitter and broke into the National Aviary, where they lived the life of Riley for at least a week before being detected and expelled.

Internet security experts announced that more than 83% of the bad spelling on the World-Wide Web occurs in proximity to photographs of cats. No satisfactory explanation has been offered for this phenomenon, but susceptible individuals are warned to look up pictures of flowers or something instead.



  1. RepubAnon says:

    Possibly the cats became impatient while their primate slaves typed the captions of the feline’s pictures. Despite their superior intelligence, annoyed felines pacing back and forth across the keyboards while the primates blunderingly attempt to follow their feline overlord’s orders can cause typographical errors that the primates aren’t intelligent enough to detect – and the cats are often bathing when the primate hits “send”.

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