AIR CONDITIONING CAN be the single biggest energy-user in your house during the summer months. Save money on your electric bill by waiting till winter to cool off.

Calculate how much per mile you really spend to drive your car. Don’t forget the cost of the car itself, as well as the cost of maintenance, insurance, registration, and gasoline. Now you’re too depressed to drive. You save!

Frequent headaches? Save money on aspirin by growing your own willow trees in the back yard.

Eat leftovers every day instead of every other day.

Dig a moat around your house, and pile the excavated dirt and rubble around the exterior walls. The dirt will act as insulation, saving big money on your heating and cooling bills. And you eliminate the need for an expensive security system!

Children’s grape-flavored drinks often sell for as little as a dollar a gallon. Add a little yeast, and you’re saving big money on wine.

Buy one of those novelty costumes that make you and your spouse look like one two-headed person. Then threaten a discrimination suit if the Port Authority won’t let you ride the streetcar for one fare.

Negotiate advertising deals with local businesses, and you can get your tattoos for free!